Culmination
by Speckly
Summary: N reflects on his own situation as he awaits Black's challenge at the castle surrounding the Pokemon League.  Vignette


N sat there on his knees on the plush orange carpet of his room, tense, shoulders shaking. At his waist, 5 pokeballs dangled, their weight uncomfortable to one who was not used to carrying such things. He had had to use them this time, though, because he couldn't bear to see their faces... the faces of his friends... They didn't know what they were in for. They blindly placed their trust in him, believed in him. He was _their_ hero, too.

His lips felt dry. He flicked his tongue out to moisten them.

_He'll be here soon,_ N thought, turning and staring at the closed door for a moment. He knew he had to pull himself together before Black arrived. He couldn't let the boy see the Champion quivering near-tears, unable to stand. Why couldn't he just see things their way? His pokemon loved him. That was why. He couldn't see just how rare a beauty he was in this cruel world. He couldn't hear the voices, so of course he couldn't know... and with that damnable, childish stubbornness, he refused to believe the only person who knew the truth... it _was_ the truth, right? These days, N was beginning to wonder... for that, Ghetsis had scolded him, saying he was becoming corrupted by the outside world... N didn't want to be corrupted... If he was, his friends might not love him anymore...

His throat squeezed, about to finally lose it... then the whole room jerked violently and he nearly fell to one side. One of the little toy train cars turning on their multicolor tracks pitched off and rolled over in front of him... They were battling downstairs. He reached down and retrieved the toy, setting it in his lap, running his fingers along its faded, smudged, time-weary sides. Its wheels turned with nothing to grasp, tiny battery-operated engine sputtering, growing warm. It wanted to give up as well. The room was jolted with the heated battle below once more.

Suddenly, a hot spike of anger pierced through his stomach and he gritted his teeth, gripping the toy with so much force the little plastic frame creaked. He had no choice anymore. They had run out of variables, and this was all that was left. Damn him. Damn him for being so blind. Damn Ghetsis for placing this burden upon his only child. Damn himself for ever doubting his own dream!

In a fit of rage, N shot to his feet, wanting—no, _needing—_to destroy something to vent his frustration. The little train track set out before him was the first thing he saw, and his shoe came down and knocked half of it aside in one sweep. He stepped on a piece with all his might and heard the satisfying CRACK as it split in half.

Panting with the sudden rush of adrenaline coursing through him, N closed his eyes, drawing in a few deep breaths to compose himself.

Black would be here soon. _Why couldn't he SEE?_

Only one of them could be Unova's one _true_ hero. _He would FORCE him to see._

The fate of everyone rested on the young man's shoulders. _There was no room for this childish fear._

_ He would win. He would take command, and he would change the world forever. It was his only goal. It was what he was born for. Zekrom was the proof. He was N, Lord of Team Plasma, Champion of Unova. And he would not fail._

Abandoning his scattered toys, he began to walk toward the door, 5 little pokeballs clinking at his waist, the train still clutched in his hand. From outside, a familiar voice called to him.

"Lord N! The one called 'Black' has reached the second floor. He will arrive shortly. Lord Ghetsis has requested you make your way to the throne room now."

"Good. Yes," N replied breathlessly, unsure if he could even be heard, "Send him directly to me. He's the only one I want to see right now... I'm going."

"...yes, sir," came the reply.

He walked to the threshold, his free hand reaching out, delicately grasping the doorknob. A scowl broke onto his normally-stoic face, and in a blur he turned and tossed the toy at the wall as hard as he could. There was an ungodly BANG as it hit the backboard of his basketball hoop with enough force to crack it and then dropped into the net, where it bobbed pathetically for a few moments, and then hung still. All of the anger drained away from him as he watched it there.

Forcing any expression from his face, N swung open the door and began to walk down the hallway without a word to his guard.

_It was time._


End file.
